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We can analyze anger and aggression
to get a comprehensive understanding of our emotions and work to
anger management. When a person feels upset he or she often is
subject to ignite when their emotions are uncontrolled.
Frustration does not take place over night; frustration takes
place when underlying matters come to focus. Frustration then is
an endless unrelieved sense or state of lack of confidence and
anger arising from anxious problems or discontented needs.
Anger then is the
feeling of anger when a person does not get their way, or a
series of issues was buried waiting for the time to attack.
Aggression then is a forceful act or modus operandi utilized to
dominate another individual. Aggression is an argumentative,
harmful or destructive behavior or viewpoint particularly when
caused by frustration. Aggression can be good if our lives are
in danger, but in most instances aggression causes harm.
Assertive on the other hand is an
effective form of communicating your feelings to another
individual without causing injury, destruction or arguments.
Assertive is a strong, bold confident we have within that helps
us to defend our rights when others wrong us. If we learn the
difference between aggression and assertiveness we can learn
good behaviors, while controlling our life and avoiding more
problems. If you are frustrated, you might want to sit down and
review your beliefs, opinions, theories, reasoning and so forth.
By reviewing the sources that make
you angry you can reduce the tension when you see that blowing
up is not worth your time or effort, since the frustrations are
out of your control. For example, if you are reviewing you might
see the other side and conclude that your frustration is out of
order. Assertive action against another individual that has
wronged you can prove more affective than blowing a fuse. We can
see in one example how a person blows their fuse and what
consequences he or she must face.
For example, a couple engages in an
argument and a fight breaks out. One of the individuals was
accused of spreading lies against the other person. The violent
episode attracts the neighbors and the cops are called. When the
police arrive, both parties are placed in handcuffs and both are
taking to jail. Their problem increases since they both may pay
fines, court cost, and possible pay probation fees. Therefore,
one problem led to a series of problems and it does not stop
there.
When the couple is free of all
fines, costs, jail and so forth they will have a police record
where everyone will judge them for the rest of their lives,
viewing them as immature and violent people. Now let us look at
another example were assertiveness was used in the scene. A
couple confronts each other after one person spreads lies
throughout the neighborhood about the other person.
The person victimized by the rumors
walks up to the opponent and says, why are you telling people
that I have a drinking problem? The other person might say,
I did not tell anyone that you have a drinking problem.
Wrong says the first person, you told my best friend who is not
a liar. Well, I assumed that you had a drinking problem
because you drink every time I come to your house. Because I
drink every time you come to my house does not mean I have a
problem. I refuse to allow you to continue dragging my name in
the mud and nor will I allow you to visit my home again if you
continue lying against me. Friends do not harm other friends. If
you have issues with me confront me with them instead of going
behind my back.
Very good job! This person did a
wonderful job asserting self and the results will most likely
prove fruitful. Let us see what happens.
I am sorry; I did not mean to offend
you. I will confront you the next time I have a problem. I am
concerned however that your drinking my be a problem, since you
do drink every I visit your home. Well, then let us go to my
place and discuss the issue.
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